I LIVE MY LIFE IN THE GREY AREAS

I just posted this big comment in chloris's journal, so I thought I'd cross-post it here. It's a bit about my thoughts on Tennant's 'True Love' episode. In short, I loved the episode and have watched it a few times. Admittedly, I'm really easy for anything with Vicky McClure and a pretty David Tennant, plus I think it explored some interesting darker aspects of romantic relationships. All I keep seeing is people exclaiming 'If you loved someone, you wouldn't cheat on them!', but unfortunately I think that is more something people hope would be the case and that the reality is that things can occasionally be more complicated than that.

I fully confess that I have cheated before (several times, in fact, back in my 20s with different lovers), so I have been That Person. I wasn't an evil person, of course, but I was young, misguided, broken, and immature (none of which I would have described myself with back then, but that's hindsight for you). Still, while I don't agree with my actions in the least bit, I can also see why I did so in each circumstance. I was learning things about myself, about my needs, and about how I fit in relationships. I was testing boundaries, but I didn't have the sense to see that I was doing it very poorly.

It was truly an Ugly Life Lesson for me, as I think it is for many people in similar situations.

Anyway, here is what I said on my friends LJ:


( More thoughts, including spoilers )

This quote is making it's way through my friends list via a post made by melissanmn earlier, so I thought I would push it along further for anyone who missed it.

I thought it was a good quote and a good analogy...

Some people come into your life for a lifetime and some come for a season. You have to know which is which. I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they go to the left. The wind blows from the other way, they go to the right. They are just unstable. You can't count on them for nothing. All they ever do is take from that tree. What you need to understand about a leaf is that it has a season. It'll wither and die and blow away.There ain't no need to be praying over a leaf to be resurrected. When it's dead it's gone. Let it go! Some people are like that. All the leaf ever does is cool you off every now and then. If you're grown, you know what I'm talking about, because you can call them in the middle of the night and get cooled off. That's the leaf people. They come to take. Then there are people like a branch. You got to be careful with branch people. They come in all different shapes and sizes. You never know how strong they will be in your life. So my advice is to tip out on it slowly. When you're going out on a limb, don't put too much weight on it at once, because it can fall and leave you high and dry. Sometimes, you have to wait for a branch to grow up before it can hold all of the things you want to share with it. Finally, there are people who are like roots at the bottom of the tree. If you find yourself two or three people in your entire lifetime that are like the roots, then you are blessed. The roots don't care nothing about being seen. All they're there to do is hold that tree up, to make sure it stays in the air. It comes from the earth to give that tree everything it needs. That's what relationships should be about. That's what you need, people who want to be in your life for the right reasons. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, you've got to LET THEM GO! When you learn to love yourself, you will end up giving standards to everyone around you. Again, I repeat with emphasis, if they don't meet those standards, you have to let them go, because they might be a leaf. And forgive them with all your might.

-- Tyler Perry "Madea's uninhibited commentaries on love and life"

Wow, just wow:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html